Last night I was discussing the blog with an acquaintance and I said one of the things I was trying to get across was all the unexpected little differences between New Zealand and the US. Since we were in a restaurant I gave the example of having to hold on to your cutlery between courses (not that I said cutlery, since that only means knives here - yet another little difference).
I almost brought up tipping as an example, too, but then realised it wasn't a very good example because I knew about tipping before I came here. What I didn't know, however, was the details and mechanics of it all. It's been an adjustment, but it's just something you have to get used to. Initially I was reserved about handing over tips because in New Zealand I think that many people are embarrassed to take a tip. But here they want your money, and many don't mind fawning over you to get it.
If you go into a restaurant and order some food eventually the bill will arrive. The first thing you have to do is take the total and add on 15-20% (and in your head, no less...I mean c'mon!). As a New Zealander, with a mild repugnance towards the idea of tipping, it took me quite a while to get used to adding on so much for service, even when the service is quite bad. There are people who say that you don't have to tip at all if the service is bad enough, but I've yet to see anyone walk the walk on that one. But it's just a part of life here, and it's how the waiting staff make their money, so even though everyone bemoans tipping they all go along with it.
It took me even longer to get used to how the tip is paid. The exact approach depends on whether you are paying by cash or card and whether you have exact change or not. Many places you pay at the table, others you pay at the counter. There are apparently subtle clues to tell you which is which, though I haven't become attuned to all of these yet. Tips are only for service, so in places where you aren't served at your table you don't have to tip...except that there are some slightly ambiguous places like the barbecue joint we frequent where you order and pay as you enter but someone brings out your food. That mystery was solved when we found that they had a tip jar near the door.
Restaurants aren't the only things that demand tips, though. When you arrive at any reasonably big hotel you practically have to fight off the small army of bell boys trying to snatch your bags so that they can get a tip from you. If the doorman of the hotel gets you a cab you have to slip them a couple of bucks. And the cab driver needs a tip - notionally in the same 15-20% range but generally whatever makes the fare up to a good round number which is often much more than that. Airport shuttle drivers get a tip if they lift your bags. Hairdressers expect a tip.
If you're living in a small town like we are then tipping isn't a day to day thing. But in a big city like New York the money flows very freely - has to flow freely or the service dries up. On the other hand if you tip well, and they remember you, you will often get the royal treatment. So it can be hard for the tipping-averse to get accustomed to, but in the end it is worth it. That's my tip to you.
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